You Get What You Give

David Lansky
David Lansky

I was having coffee with Dan, a good friend of mine, a few weeks ago. I was surprised when, apparently from out of nowhere, he said “David, you helped save my marriage.” I was delighted to have been of service, I said, but I had no idea what he was referring to. 

“Tell me more, please!”, I begged, “I”d love to know how I helped, so that I could do it again if need to!”.

“Well”, Dan said, ” A few years ago I asked you what you would say to a family if you had only a few minutes with them to help them get through difficult relationship problems. You thought for a minute and then said ‘If there is something you want from someone in your family, find a way to give it to them.'”

“So”, Dan continued, “I’ve always remembered that.  Last month my wife and I got into a huge fight. I didn’t talk to her for a whole day. I was waiting for an apology from her. I actually thought we were headed for a divorce  Then I remembered  what you said.  And I apologized to her. And we had the best talk we ever had. We understood some incredibly important things about each other. And now I know we are on the right track. 

“So David, that’s how you saved our marriage. ”

Well, I know there are many more reasons why Dan has such a strong marriage. 

But I like to think that there is some truth in what I said.


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