Tag Archives: dynamics

Sitting with Discomfort to Make Progress During Transitions

Anne Hargrave


Increasingly we have come to expect quick fixes to just about every problem….   

It doesn’t work that way with family dynamics, especially as leadership roles transition from one generation to the next.  There are expectations on all sides – from each generation to the other, and within a generation.  Often expectations are not aligned and this causes a lot of tension and discomfort.  While it may be hard to hear, tolerating discomfort and disruption has value.  

Embracing those feelings requires patience, persistence and time.  Sitting with your own discomfort allows family members and the family system to evolve.  Growth comes when the family accepts that solutions and the way forward may not please everyone – that some amount of dissatisfaction or frustration are normal.  If you expect discomfort, it also may make it easier to think in terms of what is best for the family, and the family business, as a whole.  Quick fixes are often fear based or the result of assumptions.  Sitting with discomfort adds value in the long term. 

Anne Hargrave can be reached at hargrave@efamilybusiness.com or 973-377-3079.  Click here to read Anne’s biography.