Tag Archives: Facilitator

Family Retreats

Bernie Kliska
Bernie Kliska

A family retreat should be a time to align values and educate each other, while at the same time have some fun. It is usually held in an informal setting where family members can bond and exchange ideas and information.

To handle the flood of material, questions, complaints and accolades, it would be advisable to have a facilitator to help guide the family with their interaction.

What may seem like a good idea at the time, can fall flat or even become an occasion for family flare-ups. So what makes for a good family retreat?

  • Develop a Defined Outcome: It is valuable to have realistic and clearly defined goals and outcomes. The agenda should be distributed to everyone in advance and based on input from the entire family.
  • Be Thoroughly Prepared: There should be no surprises. The single largest cause for why family retreats do not succeed is because of not being prepared. If for example, one person is a “trouble maker,” that should be anticipated in advance. If a family has a hard time sitting for an extended period of time, that has to be factored into the design of the retreat.
  • Bring Solid Content: This is an opportunity to gain family cohesion around certain viewpoints and strategies. This is also a time for families to learn something about themselves as individuals, as well as collectively as a family.
  • Ensure Effective Process: Often family leaders focus on the end result and underestimate the importance of the process involved in the discussions. The process should be fair, open and engaging to ensure full participation from everyone. While content is critical, it is often the process that causes problems and derails communication.

If properly planned, the family retreat should be an opportunity to prevent confusion, dissension and conflict. Having sincere and candid communication will only benefit the family, as well as the business.

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“Silence Is Golden”, “Pandora’s Box”, “Peace At Any Price” undermine good communication.

David Lansky
David Lansky

All of these aphorisms have a similar goal: To suppress open communication about potentially disturbing topics. But suppressed communication does not mean an issue is not present. On the contrary, it is often the things we don’t talk about that have the most impact in our relationships. The solution is to create a process for safely putting issues on the table, accompanied by mutually respectful listening and problem solving. A third party facilitator can really help in this regard by helping to identify the right issues, promoting good listening and driving toward effective problem solving.

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