“I’m not sure I can trust my brother to handle that; he just hasn’t proven that he has what it takes,” a client said. Too often family members place responsibility for trust on the shoulders of the other person, instead of their own. Trust has come to mean focusing on what we expect, need or want from another. When we lose confidence in someone, don’t see eye to eye, or our expectations are not met, we tend to react. We don’t feel that we can trust.
If you don’t feel that you can trust a family member, consider stepping back and asking yourself some questions:
- To what extent might there be a disconnect between your perception of that person’s actions and their intentions?
- Might there be another way to interpret past events?
- How do you differ in the way you respond to conflict and stress or solve problems?
- How might you adapt your style to motivate the family member to be their best self?
Trust is a two way street – we each play a part. And we can only change ourselves.